This is an urgent message to all Building, Facilities, Operations and Site Managers from IAQ Services.

While demonstrating our Damper Reset Tool at a prestigious London HQ building, our senior operative, Stephen MacQueen, detected a “strange substance”. Upon further investigations, in this and adjoining buildings, some of which would fail HSE compliance standards, MacQueen discovered “more of the substance oozing from vents” and found it to be “extremely dangerous”.

MSM are verifying this report but until they publish, please share.

Conditions were not ideal but IAQ’s operative, MacQueen, was able to capture the first image of the strange substance.  Later he reported back to IAQ that this “extraordinarily smelly” substance is not restricted to poorly maintained buildings. His initial surveys found that sites with excellent maintenance systems and regimes were faring better (as less contamination found) but that the substance was still able to lurk in clean environs “as if it was biding its time” said MacQueen.

As he expected, higher quantities of the dangerous substance was found in poorly maintained buildings where dirt, grease, mould and fire hazard crannies were energising and nurturing it. MacQueen concluded that the substance thrives within grimy ducts and vents.

WARNING Do Not Prod!

Do not apply standard cleaning products to the substance as IAQ’s tests show that these fail to combat it and actually appear to nourish it. Whatever you do, DO NOT PROD the substance! Prodding acts as an annoyance to it, causes it to expand exponentially and the concomitant stink it emits defies description and violently assaults any unmasked faces within a 100 metres radius.

In fact, prodding weaponises the substance. Therefore, should you find any of the substance, on sites you are responsible for, and someone accidentally or stupidly prods it, IAQ advice to you is GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

IMPORTANT Link to Pictures

Please check your ventilation systems and call IAQ if you find the substance present. We have a patent pending product and method capable of destroying it. The gelatinous, gluey, puce coloured, slimey substance is not difficult to detect, as it is drawn towards humankind and make itself known in an alarming fashion. For your reference, IAQ have captured video footage: PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK to view!